Chores teach Life Skills
I hear many parents complaining that their children do not appreciate what is done for them, expect that EVERYTHING is done for them, and feel entitled!
Okay … where do I start? Firstly, let me tell you that I (and my boys) grew up and we have been living in country where we have had the privilege of having daily domestic help because it has been economically viable. However, in todays economy and in most Western Countries, it is far to expensive to employ domestic help on a daily basis and everyone is expected to contribute …. or are they?
Okay … why do I say “or are they?”
What we teach our children or what we expect them to do is based on our belief systems.
Let’s have a look at a few of these beliefs :-
As parents, we are made to feel guilty going back to work and leaving our kids with caregivers who do not teach them our values. And therefore, because of our guilt – we feel we need to DO EVERYTHING for our children.
We can carry on the debate FOREVER!!!!! But this does not do anything for our children!
Who is the most important individual here? Your child … not so?!
What are our goals for our children :-
TO BE SELF-SUFFICIENT i.e. once they move out of the “nest”, will they be able to manage their budget, clean their living quarters, cook, wash their clothes, plan their day, be disciplined about studying and not only playing,acceptable social standards, etc.
Mmmmm….. I don’t think so! We sort of assume that they will learn these things through osmosis but we do not hold them responsible or accountable for these behaviours.
Chores teach children basic life skills in ……
Ok, so lets relate the above to the real world …
Can you see why CHORES are so important?
Implementing chores and dealing with the reaction of our beloved teens can be rather stressful and it can be “easier for us” to just do everything for them … but the question is … are we doing the best for them or are we taking the “easy way out”?
Think about it!
Okay … where do I start? Firstly, let me tell you that I (and my boys) grew up and we have been living in country where we have had the privilege of having daily domestic help because it has been economically viable. However, in todays economy and in most Western Countries, it is far to expensive to employ domestic help on a daily basis and everyone is expected to contribute …. or are they?
Okay … why do I say “or are they?”
What we teach our children or what we expect them to do is based on our belief systems.
Let’s have a look at a few of these beliefs :-
- I am a stay at home mom/dad and therefore it is my responsibility to clean the house, cook, and be a taxi,
- even though I am working, it is a woman’s job to make sure that the house is clean, supper is cooked and the children are sorted,
- I want to provide my children with the things that I never had so what is wrong with me taking up the slack doing everything for them?
- I'm expected to be SuperWoman
- I cannot show my ex-husband that I cannot cope with the children - just now he asks for custody!
- I’m not working and have nothing important to do, so why put my children under unnecessary stress when I can pick up the slack!
As parents, we are made to feel guilty going back to work and leaving our kids with caregivers who do not teach them our values. And therefore, because of our guilt – we feel we need to DO EVERYTHING for our children.
We can carry on the debate FOREVER!!!!! But this does not do anything for our children!
Who is the most important individual here? Your child … not so?!
What are our goals for our children :-
- have plenty of self esteem
- have plenty of friends
- do well at school
- make lots of money
- be successful
- etc – I am sure you can add a whole lot more!
TO BE SELF-SUFFICIENT i.e. once they move out of the “nest”, will they be able to manage their budget, clean their living quarters, cook, wash their clothes, plan their day, be disciplined about studying and not only playing,acceptable social standards, etc.
Mmmmm….. I don’t think so! We sort of assume that they will learn these things through osmosis but we do not hold them responsible or accountable for these behaviours.
Chores teach children basic life skills in ……
- hygiene and cleanliness
- nutrition
- budgeting
- planning and time management
- balance
- follow through
- compassion and consideration
- relationships
- work ethics
- etc.
Ok, so lets relate the above to the real world …
- they go to college and live in a university/college residential or communal house – they don’t clean up after themselves in the kitchen, bathroom, etc – how will their fellow “in-mates” react?
- they cannot cook basic meals (expect other in-mates to do) or live on fast foods – what are the consequences?
- they have never been taught to budget – overspend on credit cards, etc – and now what?
- they are used to mommy/daddy dearest to wake them up and get them going in the morning …. they are late for an exam (not allowed to write!), they are continuously late for work – what happens?
- I can quote many examples …. I think you get the idea!
Can you see why CHORES are so important?
Implementing chores and dealing with the reaction of our beloved teens can be rather stressful and it can be “easier for us” to just do everything for them … but the question is … are we doing the best for them or are we taking the “easy way out”?
Think about it!